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Nikki

[ website | My Blurty ]
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[08 Oct 2004|11:27am]
ADD MY NEW LIVEJOURNAL PLEASE!!!!!! ADD IT ADD IT ADD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! left_behind_198
Lonely Star *

[19 Sep 2004|02:13pm]
hey everyone i got a new journal..since this one is kind of dumb..add me there if your reading this and comment so i can add you back..left_behind_198
* 3 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[17 Sep 2004|03:41pm]
i think im going to delete this journal soon due to the fact nobody reads it
* 3 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[09 Sep 2004|12:09am]
[ mood | hateful ]

I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF

* 5 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[08 Sep 2004|03:10pm]
When troubles come your soul to try,
You love the friend who just stands by.
Perhaps there's nothing she can do,
The thing is strictly up to you.

For there are troubles all your own,
And paths the soul must tread alone.
Times when love can't smooth the road,
Nor friendship lift the heavy load.

But just to feel you have a friend,
Who will stand by until the end.
Whose sympathy through all endures,
Whose warm handclasp is always yours.

It helps somehow to pull you through,
Although there's nothing she can do.
And so with fervent heart we cry,
God Bless the friend who just stands by.

now my best friend, or i think she is, is mad at me!! and the person i fell in love with isnt in love with me and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i spent the whole day -------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but who cares!!GOD!
* 2 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[28 Aug 2004|02:19am]
[ mood | depressed ]

yup..i feel like shit..maybe im just tired? i dunno..i cant wait until the episode JACK & BOBBY to come out..im so watchin each and every1 of them..well im gonna go.. im sleeping at luisz..hopefully feel better in the morning

 

i want a boyfriend, one who loves me, for me..

and i miss my sissy..

 

i need to lose weight.. i joined lafitness 2day =X..byez..

* 1 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[27 Aug 2004|09:21pm]

ooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg IM WITH CHRISTINA MICELI!!!!!

HAHA and my sissy should be home! but im not at my house so thats ghey..and and and and yea ive had a good day and and and i spent almost the whole afternoon n night with melvin but hes leaving on monday.. i have alot more pics dat ill up[load wen i get home..hehe good day..jeez nobody reads dis.. i need 2 join add_me or somethin lmao ok well anyway nikki, haha dats me, im gonna go! byebyez

 

Lonely Star *

[27 Aug 2004|12:34am]
[ mood | amused ]

HAHAHAHA ISNT SHE FUCKING SEXY?!?!?! LMAO!!!!

Read more...Collapse )


SOME RANDOMNESS


Read more...Collapse )

ALOT more to come tomorrow

Lonely Star *

[26 Aug 2004|08:10pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

WARNING: ALOT OF PICTURES UNDER CUT!!!

Read more...Collapse )

* 2 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[23 Aug 2004|05:02pm]

grr i called kim but she didnt pick up.. i guess she doesnt hear it

aww JENEVIEVE GOT A PRE SCHOOL UNIFORM!!! omg im smiling now

aww my baby is growing! shes so adorable..im gonna go eat her!

* 1 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[23 Aug 2004|04:26pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

ya well today just isnt my day.. i really wanted to go to skool cuz me n desy were suppose to hang out durin lunch..den me her n luis were all suppose to go home 2gether.. well luis called and woke me up at 7:20, right when the bell rang..so i got dressed really quick.. and i was @ skool at 7:45..well i walk in and big O (wun of the security guards) told me i wasnt goin newhere cuz i wasnt dressed properly..so im lyk uhh ya w/e n i kept walkin, cuz all da udder tymz he lets me get away wif it..me n him go way back.. but i guess he didnt get fed today and decided to take it on me. so i went in the office and dey told me to stay in CSI or go home..wtf am i gonna go sit in a freezing room n do nothin for?? c'mon now, 4 dat i might as well go home.. so i called my mom..and she decided to be ms innocent n go talk to mr jones(ASS PRIN).. and she told him i told her i was gonna slit my veins and jump off a bridge n shit..oh ya, she thinks pitty will buy everythin SORRY BUDDY BUT NO so im like ahhhhhh bitch say it a little louder will u?? so dey sent me to Ms Short (counselor) n she started askin me a bunch of shit..and im lyk bla bla w/e i wanna live im happy..so happy, yah i thought i wuz gettin away wif it..den she found my papers n shit on file to citrus (my phsycho home i use to go) so she asked me who recommended me there n i said Ms Taylor (my counselor b4)..so shes lyk o kool i know her n im lyk ahhhhh yea splendid so she called her up n ms taylor is all
"yea she use to cut real badly"
"her mom didnt seem to care much"
"lots of physical and verbal use in her home"
"very low self esteem"
"yes i remember her"

ya know so much 4 the whole its personal i cant tell anybody without ur permission..AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH gr8..so yea 2 sum it up, im pose 2 b gettin pills..yay...nothin better den livin off pills huh?!?!

yea w/e..now luis is with cynthia n he swears im mad.. im not mad but itd b great if hed stop puttin her b4 every1 just cuz he likes her..he was pose 2 ride home wif desy but he walked wif cynthia instead..n we're supopose 2 be in LA FITNESS but hes wif cynthia cuz his gma is "cleaning the house"..yea..OKAY

jeez man can my day get just a LITTLE bit better? cuz personally im over amused!!!!!!!! and my moms tryin to be all nice now bringin me taco bell and inviting me places..SORRY BUT ONCE AGAIN..NO BITCH

AND melvin might be moving here to miami!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
im in some way glad but then im not.. i dunno i dunno i dunt fuckin know

ppl fuck with me at da wrong god damn time!!! ahhhhh let me go call Kim and wake her up..hopefully she makes me feel better

Lonely Star *

[22 Aug 2004|04:26pm]
blah.whatever.i hate my life. i hate being me. i hate everyone in my life. everything about it. i wanna cut. i cant wait to go home. nobody understands. i dont think anybody wants to anyway.
* 1 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[22 Aug 2004|02:49am]

welp we all jus got out of the pool..haha :).. we were gonna go skinny dipping but decided not to ;)

i swam the whole pool and im still alive!! l0l sorry my swimmin sux sometimez

but yea we ran in da house cuz we're scared niggers were gonna rob us

erm we watched...cartoon ;]

lol and yea i feel like shit

im not pose 2 b here

my mom said go home but w.e..she can lick my pussy

welp now its 3:43..i talked 2 josh n im kinda talkin 2 kim

ken fell asleep n luis is fightin it..his eyes close n open.lol.

 

Kim: well ima go back 2 sleep

 

blah.great.

wutever..umm 2morrow i wuz pose 2 go to the dominican festival but i dun wanna..

 

welp my tits were abused 2day..and i have a big red thing on my tit *looks around innocently* i dunno..ugh i feel so nasty..damn melvin..ew.

wen luis wakes up i have 2 tell him 2 crack my back

 

wutever.im gonna go.its 3:46. fuck off.

Lonely Star *

[21 Aug 2004|04:21pm]
umm hi guys
guess da fuck wut! im at luisz house with KEN..lol i slept over yaris house yesterday...well she fell asleep as soon as i got there so it was just me n melvin..im so ashamed of myself =X..hez interesting.. i dunno if i lyk him or not. o wells, i lyk sumwun else n u guyz will never kno who.lol. well me luis n ken went to wendys n da gas statuib, n luis goes to my skool now n we have da same lunch together and so does desy but ive already been absent 3 times in 1 week *runs away* lol but hopefully i wont follow that path the whole yr cuz im hopin dis yr ill pass..lol ya w/e. umm i really need a job..and a boifriend..anybody interested? lol
welp we're gonna go in da pool..ill finish updating wut i needed 2 update wen i get home! i love u guyz..plz comment

i did almost all of dis without lookin at da screen
haha arent i getting better?
i have no life so im always on the fuckin computer
yea dis is stuff im typing to ken while hes sitting here reading it
woooooooooohoooooo..woogoo,lmao
ok yea im gonna go now 4real
i think somethin is wrong with my luis
byebye guyz u love u especially my ken n luis n my sissy kim
woohoo and i miss kellie lol

yay i had fun but LJ is pissin me off n i dun feel lyk updating right now so ill do it wenever i get home.. i was hopin i culd sleep over but i doubt i can, i dunn0..but yea ill update wenever
* 4 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[18 Aug 2004|08:00pm]
i had a great day..skool is good! i <3 me some skool =D <33
Lonely Star *

[16 Aug 2004|08:49pm]
just thought id let everyone know..
i hate melvin and i hope he chokes on his own dick.GR!

and i started skool, i think im gonna drop out.whatever.
* 2 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[15 Aug 2004|10:11am]
[ mood | crushed ]

not much has happend..luis came over last nite n we watched some movies..datz about it.had pizza..yea..
now im here cryin..jenevieve is so annoying..i regret saying yes.. my mom just told me i put everyones self esteem down..everything i do is so wrong to her.. but the baby can turn the house inside out and itz just so fuckin cute..skool starts tomorrow.. i havent decided if i wanna go or not..luis is transferrin to nmb in like 2 week he says, that should be fun.. i hope he has the same lunches as me..blah...ive never said this before but.. i dont wanna be friends with yari anymore.. ive known her since 4th grade and rite now at this point of life shes annoying the fuck out of me..shes a 2faced liar..wutever..
the baby keeps hitting me..sometimes i wish she were never born..err, my fatass is hungry.. i wanna cut..i havent done it in a while..but i dont wanna start my skool yr like that, i refuse 2..god..whats wrong with me? whatever..nobody carez

IM NOT IN LOVE, ITS JUST A PHASE THAT IM GOIN THROUGH..IM ALWAYS LOOKIN FOR SOMETHIN NEW

* 8 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

[14 Aug 2004|12:09am]
ok,ok so maybe things are a little differant then i thought lmao..
umm well about 30 minutes of me writing my last entry..yari,melvin,nestor, and alexandra all came knockin on my door..we went to the park for a while and then me,melvin, n yari came 2 my house and chilled then we started watchin white chicks and nestor came.. kim called..so i called back.. things r ok =).. then nestor left n it was me,melvin n yari..me n melvin "walked out to get the baby some milk" and i had a 5 minute or so talk with him..then in my bubbas room he just started kissin me.. it was so soft n sweet..haha right infront of yari =X..she said its fine, if thats what i wanna commit to.and i do =)
and well..now my mom bought me some taco bell..and its 12:13 am! hehehe im gonna go..luv yall
* 2 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

*depressed entry* [13 Aug 2004|05:18pm]
[ mood | confused ]

okay well..i thought my life was gettin a little better but i guess not..yari..well ive always been known 2 be her only friend..and i mean it use 2 make em feel special..now her and this girl she use to talk shit about are friends..and now theyre always together and yari never calls me anymore.. i mean i understand she needs to have more friends and stuff..but she just completely abandon me..and i guess its normal for me 2 be jelous, thats just how i am..but it makes me wanna cry
just about everyone i know knows i dont have many friends.. im not a people person. i mean im social and everything but i do or say things that people take the wrong way..and then i get hurt again when people just stop talkin to me or i find out what they really think of me..so therefore, ever since last yr ive tried to just stop making friends..be4 i always wanted every1 to like me and always eb with me, but now theres only certain people i care for..
and kim..every1 knows shes my best female friend..but i feel like im the only 1 who feels dat way..lyk she says it to just avoid problems..she enevr tells me wutz wrong nemore,she dusn seem 2 care..i mean i know she loves noel n everything..but everytime him n her have problems..it ends with us havin problems t0o..n it makez me feel like ive done somethin wrong..and everywun knows im not g0od with guilt..it leads 2 me cryin alot or hurting myself..wich i really feel the need 2 do now..alot
melvin..i tell myself i dun lyk him but i know damn well i cant help but to.. n i feel if i get just a little more attached itll be more den a little crush.. n den it hurts me so much wen we do stuff.. i mean weve done alot, i like it n everything but then this big feeling of guilt builds up in me and makes me just wanna shout.. i feel as if he claims he lyks me and just uses me for pussy and excitement..and i dont want it to be that way..cuz i feel lyk wif him my whole life is differant..lyk.. i dunno being around him makes my self esteem go up. n wen im not wif him, itz all i think about.. and im yet 2 tell yari i like him.. which i and him feel is the reason shes bein so bitchy around me.. i think she saw last night while we were doin stuff but she didnt wanna say nothin...she kept rollin her eyes though..and he said somethin bout if he sleeps over hes gonna do me all night and she has the nerve to call ME a hoe..like im the one offerin, all i did was smile..gawd..
why do i always feel like everything is my fault..like i dont do anything right.. no matter how hard i try i never satisfy anyone.. i never do anything right..even when im doin positive things.. somethin negative comes from it.
my neice is laying down under da computer desk hugging one of her baby dolls..shes sad cuz she misses her mom n dad.. i mean i know shes suppose 2 but even that gets me jelous n makes me feel like im not entertaining her or being a good mommy.. but i dunno..maybe ill give her a bath n paint her nails n stuff..she loves doin that..+ itll take my mind off everythin else..
i miss luis.. i havent talked to him since gawd knows when.. i dunno..ok im gonna go figure out wut 2 do..if anyone wants..u guys can call me.. im sure alot of u will find this n prank call me but wuteber..ask me if i care.. i have nothin better to do but talk to prank callers neway =)....305-945-3184

* 1 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

not that all of you will know what im talkin about buuuuuuuut.. [13 Aug 2004|03:37am]
[ mood | horny ]

haha 5 times...2 days =)

me just got home :-!..had a GREAT nite <333..wish it didnt have to end though :\..

* 14 Wished Upon A Lonely Star *

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